The dog show 11/19/11

• My "dog" didn't win the dog show.  In fact, I felt like I'd been beat like a dog when it was over as boulders pounded my temples.  The first critique was supportive, otherwise I would've peed my pants I was so nervous.  After that it went downhill -- why did you do this?  why didn't you do that?  how can you change voice from first person POV to an unreliable narrator? -- How can I WHAT?  And you can't defend yourself during these workshops.  That's a rule.  Just listen, ask for clarification if needed.  Would it have been smartassy to ask if they were speaking English?  It seemed so, so I didn't.  Guess I was already feeling under fire.  Got another rejection email this morning.  A very nice one -- your work is not something I feel I could represent but I hope you find an agent that represents your work with the passion it deserves -- but a rejection nonetheless.  
• So my brain was deep fried after all that.  Had a bite of lunch and took myself beachwalking to let the ocean breeze blow the critical crap out of my head.  Some brave kids were splashing and screaming in the water.  I gravitated to the unoccupied sand so I'd only hear the wash of the waves.  Horses were out on the beach again today, so I was careful to step over the deep hoof prints and plop.  Saw a fuzzy black and white house slipper of a dog on a leash whose hind end kept slipping into the hoof craters.  He had to kick his back paws to get out.  That made me laugh.  It helped.